Dialog o třech velikánech

W: So what’s new with Hitler?
V: Everything. New codifications. New multiplication facts. New materials…
W: And what exactly are these new materials?
V: Well... new materials are materials that are, in contrast to materials that are not. Do you understand?
W: What are they? Are they stupid or not good?
V: Neither. This type of material looks just like old material.
W: Worn-out, shabby, age-old. Simply a ruin.
V: I don’t think in the sense that it is old like decrepit, but instead old in the sense that it is good, effective, established, practical, quality, time-tested - simply unmodern.
W: Un-German
V: Something that they don’t wear in Germany anymore.
W: Silk, wool, rubber - freedom, equality, brotherhood.
V: Yes, something that no Nazi shopkeeper sells.
W: Simply foreign material.
V: Yes. New codification in new Germany needs new values and new materials which replace old values and old materials.
W: So I will say it directly - replacements - ersatz.
V: Forget about it. These two words were cancelled by official orders. New materials are not replacements.
W: Oh, get out of here. So the new materials aren’t replacements for the old materials?
V: Not at all. They are replacements for good materials. Like one of those waterproof coats from new materials, for example - not only does it get soaked, it even has a stamp in the lining: do not wash, damaged by water. That still is not a replacement for a waterproof coat.
W: Certainly, that is a non-waterproof coat.
V: A new Reichsmark also does not have old value.
W: And new blitzkrieg is not like the old blitzkrieg. It used to be blitz and then nothing. And now it is blitz - ryc - and nothing. And what are new materials made from?
V: From worthless trash. From something that not even a mut would bark at.
W: I can’t think of anything that a mut would not bark at.
V: Well, maybe chaff. That does not even interest a mut. So instead we make coffee out of chaff.

W: They could also make tea out of horse shit then - no?
V: They do much greater miracles than that. They made a poet out of Mr. Zavřel!
W: That is not possible! Where did they find him? In the Štebárně?
V: No - in the Prague Lapidarium.
W: What was that Fortinbras doing there?
V: He was discarded there with the plaster heads. Completely forgotten about. Covered in flies, full of spider webs, pill bugs behind his ears - so they shut the mouths of poets and opened the door for Zavřel…
W: To the Pantheon?
V: No. To the ministry of business.
W: How does a poet and Zavřel belong in the ministry of business?
V: Not at all. Zavřel is an excellent businessman.
W: You are right about that. He is a very corruptible poet.
V: Well, he did not sell many poems. But he does sell his character, in great amounts and cheaply.
W: So is Zavřel a new material? And how long does a new material like this last?
V: Not very long. This kind of waterproof coat can get soaked. They lock up Zavřel…
W: Just lock him up?
V: At the beginning.
W: And where? At the Lapidarium again?
V: No, likely at the prison in Bory.
W: Yeah well, the Lapidarium will be no more.
V: What’s that? I don’t know anything about that.
W: The whole thing will be reactivated. For example, they just pulled out marshal Radec.
V: Oh, get out of here. Those Germans don’t have enough generals?
W: Victorious generals.
V: Did they dust off the old marshal Radec?
W: It’s an impressive old-Prague figurine, an experienced man, an old citizen, made entirely out of bronze, all cuprous, simply a new ghost in the army. No blitzkrieg, nicely marching along, dragoons with their sabres, breechloaders - a surprise tactic, something fairly new…

V: I know. Slowly, but surely.
W: From blitzkrieg straight into retirement. I don’t want to be vulgar.
V: Germans value their good soldiers.
W: Why yes. Look at that colonel Moravec. His head is like a knee, but if you drill into it, you won’t find a brain.
V: I know, that’s that YESTER. A big strategist.
W: He is more than that. He is a prophet. You can completely rely on that person. When he begins to prophesize, that the Germans will destroy the Soviet army…
V: … then you can sleep peacefully.
W: Oh not me, but the Soviet army can sleep peacefully.
V: Apparently he is also a great calculator, that Moravec.
W: He is. One time he reported that there were 4,000,000 Russians on the front lines. Of those 4,000,000 Russians, 4,000,000 Russians were killed. They were shredded. Completely decimated.
V: What a performance.
W: If you do the math, during the time he wrote that, it was 47 days from the start of the war with the Soviets…
V: ... That’s 1128 hours …
W: … that’s 67,680 minutes …
V: That means 60 Russians a minute - dead or captive.
W: Every second one Russian. We don’t need to count by the second, we can count by the Russian.
V: Jesus-Christ, and was anyone left?
W: Nobody, but he bravely protects himself.
V: He even counter-attacks. Mr. Moravec simply just runs his mouth.
W: What else should he do, if he’s being paid to do just that?
V: Simply, if he wanted to tell the truth, then he would need to say: Russians are with us, whoever is against us, Churchill will trample them.
W: Pshhh… quiet. What if somebody from the Czech lands will hear us?
V: They would be glad.